Resolution Solution

I, ______________________________ do hereby resolve:




- To no longer be bound by critical overviews, self-serving perspectives or ego-filled commandments. They are not mine, I shall not harbor or accept them

- To act in the sole interests of safety and well-being for my self, my children and my family and to negate all other efforts of control by parties unaligned to this objective, with the strength of faith over explanation

- To be a seeker of truth and be cognizant that there are times when what I may want may not coincide with what I need – and greater still, that it is not I who is in charge

- To ask for help and be unafraid of receiving it

- To place greater belief in the challenges that are placed before me that they will make me great

- To say “thank you” more than I have expectations

- To lose expectations, or rather, replace them with anticipations and preparations for the glories that will undoubtedly be bestowed upon my life

- To hone my focus on forgiveness

- To pray for contentment over understanding, explanation of, or worry

- To return the smile lines to my face, dirt to my fingers, sunshine to my shoulders, and blue paint to my toenails

- To engage in more random acts of kindness

- To journal and pen letters more than I document wrong-doings

- To dissolve anger, hatred, and jealousy to the grit of sandy beaches – that it will be washed away not by me, but by time and the act of being forgiven

- Above all, I resolve to accept that where I now stand, what air I now breathe, and the placement that I now exist in is precisely where I am supposed to be



Signed, this 24th day of December, 2010 with much Faith, determination and God as my witness,



___________________________________________

Just Thinking

I feel that I have given more than enough thought to this.  It circulates around the fact that I am semi (emphasize "semi") sorry that you are in fact, lame.  There is not quite enough emphasis in your language to justify giving thoughts of you another go-'round and there is definitely not enough justification to allow your words to breathe any longer than the air they encompass when passing through your lips.

That's not all.

You are, in fact, wrong.  You do not care as deeply as a mother should.  And arrogance does not compensate for immaturity.   Nevertheless, it is not my place to pass judgment, so I am simply stating my perspective and shall leave it as such until someone else is willing to validate the truth that I see and speak.

On a day that one is willing and able to be as much of a strong person as one verbosely claims, then ...and only then, will I listen contently and move accordingly.  That. Has not happened so far. 

I stand on the accounting to one motivation only - that is truth.  Truth, (not to be confused with truth) shall set you free and in as much as I would like to assist, I cannot.  Truth can only be found through long-plodding, and sometimes sorrowful efforts as a seeker.  truth, on the other hand, is often confused with and linguistically challenged by the commonalities that bind mankind.  ( I personally feel it is the capital "T" that does it in).

Evermore,
and with much anticipation,
Selflessness-in-measure-yet-slightly-perturbed,
Me

The Hardest Wall

 A hair's breath from Christmas and the air is still. There is something that lingers, untold truths, begotten lies that fill the space between right and wrong.  It never comes easy to stand on faith alone but that is where we reside.  The effort at mental creation of black and white has long since dissipated in this stale and stagnate environment.  Try as we may -- it feels harder to gather the energy to remain calm and present the facts as they stand, hoping someone will listen. 

I wonder why?  Why is it that what presents as evil, manipulative and coercive is more easily accepted, welcomed almost, than the truth?  What has brought us to the brink of extinction among ourselves? I know I didn't start out this way, but yet, here I am. Wondering...

Unsettled with what my mind returns to me as an answer.

Attempts to reason with the unreasonable fumble the hope and I watch it wobble across a field that a growing part of me doesn't believe in.  To justify this feeling would be to suggest that once again, the essence of life must be fortified in faith.  That one small and tender offshoot of a larger, and dying mainstay.

 Faith don't fail us now.

Why is precisely the reason.

Why? Because it is fun. Because it brings laughter, enjoyment and wedge of memory that will not dislodge.

Why?

Because there are too many reasons why not. That is why.

There was a time when I thought that in order to perfect the art of planning, one had to immerse themselves in some delicate field of professionalism that gave enough weight to their purpose to justify the end result.

Not so.

After boiling down the crude ingredients of what it means to be human; to learn and live and wonder...and wander, there is so much more able to be said about the unanswerable "why?" than there is to be explained by the "because".

Just live.


Let it be.

Enjoy. And dammit, hold on for the ride with the most zealous hairspray in your bouffant and the zestiest of nail polish colors on your digits. Do not fear the answering of "why?" -- live it. And when you do decide to unbuckle to let the next rider board, smile a smile that says "Brotha, it's worth it -- but I give you no more than that" and make sure that smile spreads ear to ear.

When all is said and done, it is for mere pleasure of the ride, not the safety restraints or the approval received beforehand.

Breaking out the rule book, solely for the intention of burning it as soon as the burn-ban is lifted.Or before...before would be alright too.

Wham! Bam!