I beseech you to conduct yourself, not as a child like your own...but as an adult. If you want for better, if you wish for greater and dream for more - than pursue it. Don't drown it. Don't let it be drowned. If I offer anything, I present myself as an example of what you will undoubtedly have to contend with in your very near future. It will not get better. It will not get easier. It will only become all consuming, all encompassing and before you realize what has happened, you'll find yourself standing at a broken mirror, wondering why that childhood ideology of yourself as Cinderella has become so tortured and twisted when all you sought at the onset of this relationship you find yourself in, was love and understanding.
Your hair will be thinned and your eyes darkened with drags of skin that hang beneath them. If you have not committed yourself before this point, you will most-likely be so confused with the The life and vitality you once had will be all but depleted and your children will sigh heavily with the anxiousness that you spread throughout your house daily. There will be no one who listens any longer, no one who fully understands and no one that cares to join you on your umpteenth episode of martyrdom. If I had to guess, I would put money down that there will come a day (in your situation, I will hope that be sooner, rather than later) that your realization will slam into your consciousness like contact between a freight train and a concrete wall.
And now that I have allowed an ample amount of time for my previous words to sink in; I agree with my notion. I am sorry for you only to the point that this will be more difficult than you now believe and having lived the torturous relationship between idealism and realism - I can expunge your actions only when you begin showing signs of growth and a want for better.
Until that point - I suppose only time will tell.
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