The Shovel Theory

Here's how it works:

Take any person and hand them a shovel. It doesn't have to be expensive, or fiberglass, or colorful ... just a shovel.  What would they do?  Personally, I have no less than six ideas right off the top of my head that I could, would, should institute a shovel into in order that they work.  The man (and/or woman) with a quote-unquote blue collar would know exactly how to incorporate a shovel if handed one.  And the suggestion of getting it for free? Bonus. 

But to the politician, the professional talker or the famed representative that thrives on nepotism and one hand washing the other - my guess is that they would be rendered speechless.  That, or they would think me a lunatic.  For several years I have disclosed one such shovel theory to my friends and family on the occasion that we have a few moments to chat and eat and laugh.  And tonight, that shovel theory reached a whole new level.  Now, the shovel theory lends its well-conceived intellect to what we're calling the "Get to Work" campaign for government officials. 

I propose that we collect shovels.  One by one, those shovels are mailed to each state/district representative with an enclosed motivational speech to read: "Get to Work".  The follow-up campaign to this is documentary photographs of real, honest and hard-working individuals who show their hands in a picture with a nicely fonted  sub-statement to read: "I have callouses, do you?".  See to the working person, the shovel is useful. It is an assist, a tool, a means to an end...it is necessary.  Yes, to some it may be little more than a prop, but still - I would bet they have callouses to show they can use a shovel to produce something.  But to the persons elected to positions of power that do the talking for all their constituents, a shovel is nearly useless.  Heck, if it was a pen they would be more obliged to motivate.  An embossed pen and the promise of your vote, and they'll send a postage paid Christmas card.  Excuse me, holiday card. 

So what to do?  I'm thinking that I shall begin tomorrow anew by collecting those pennies that I subconciously pick up on the sides of sidewalks and store fronts and beneath store shelving - and I'm going to save.  Save until I have enough to buy the first of what will become many, shovels.  Sent straightaway to the congressman or woman of my district with that enclosed notation: "Get to Work".  I will most-definately include a picture of my hands since they do have many the callous and I'll begin documenting the responses.  Donations will be gratefully accepted and we might even get so far as to embossing handles and creating memorabilia in honor of those hard working individuals and families who know all-too-well what it means to work with their hands day in and day out without the expectation of gratitude.  And if Washington doesn't like my shovels.  I'll give them to those that will truly appreciate. 

PS: I do have a PayPal account.

Gratefully,
Shovel Theory