And so, I am contemplating.
Contemplation always seems to help in some manner. Life perspective is a multistep scenario: see it. Process it. Implement it. Allocate the outcome by screening out the troublesome. I am, I believe – looped in the processing stage. A lot. What this amounts to is that I keep score against myself rather than for myself; an epiphanial-tragedy. That is what I shall deem this exercise of a thought-provoked existence. Epiphanial-tragedy. I get a great idea and make dire efforts toward initiating or implementing it for myself or family, and then …I falter. So in essence, the score-keeping is the marked effort that is in fact, holding me back.
In an essence, our daily processing becomes the start of a new story every day while altering the ending as we go; an endless do-over opportunity. The magic however, is in the act of letting go of the process; the score-keeping and enabling that whole “like begets like” action to occur by putting out there what we want to get back. My mother would often say that “the more you give, the more you get,” which to the ten-year-old, insinuated the physical giving: clothes, belongings, money. The same is true for the metaphysical – love, care, energy – these elements when given, bring more of the same in return. And how does one plagued with the epiphanial-tragedy keep score against that? Instead of a savings account, it is an investment portfolio chock full of high-yield eternal stocks.
It’s like country singer Dwight Yoakam emphasized in his song, Waterfall: “my heart still believes that love for what we need, can be enough”. It can and is enough – so long as the tally marks don’t form alongside the action. And with that, we do have an everything.
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