What She Wasn't

There were days that itemizing the lists of things surrounding her existence, came as a priority to other actions; possibly breathing.  She wasn't rich. She didn't own the best of anything outside her husband and children, and she wasn't sure of where to go when she thought she was lost.  She knew that she could pray, but sometimes praying didn't seem enough.  She prayed anyway.
She didn't own much of anything that was new, and she deliberately shopped for things that were not new. She believed that "new"meant little more than "more cheaply made".  She kept breathing when it got too hard to draw a deep breath and she kept thinking when her brain did little more than hum like a static-filled radio station.  Think, think, think. She hasn't had time to herself in more than half a decade and even that's okay. She would gladly give away all that she owns for the smile it might bring to someone else, or the warmth, or the comfort, the understanding, the enjoyment, the belief.
She fiddled with her new ring; spinning it 'round and 'round her finger until it stopped like a spun bottle on the clock striking twelve - the glass slipper left on the front step, the disbelief, the confusion...what happened? Where did she go?

She was on a mission. One that was known only to her and those select few that shared her thoughts, her whispers and who actually listened.  She had calculated and planned and yet, there was so very much room left that did not make sense.

She prayed again.  Spinning the ring again, spinning the thoughts. It had to lead to some form of materialized event. There had to be a reason.  Where the hell did the slipper go?! What was "she" - as all that embodies "she" missing?  Where did she go wrong? What was so big, or small, or huge, or insignificant - that she missed it?  Mission. Reckless endangerment of self - she had belief. She knew that. She had faith. She fully and wholeheartedly understood that.

With one shoe on and one off, she marched on with a smile.

Her eyes spoke louder than the smile on her face, but she marched.  Consequences be had, she marched.