Thursday, August 12, 2010

Breathing: The Temporary Depletion of Oxygen


It really came as no surprise that my mind once again tricked me into thinking the idealism I harbor was capable of overcompensating for the realism that exists. 

There are times when I feel as if I am a spectator to my own life, and how odd a feeling to be routing from the bleachers…for myself.  The parameters of human magnificence again I suppose.  I'm that rat in the maze of legal blunders. Right turn; left turn then a circle-‘round, then *Bam*…I run smack-dab into a petition, or a summons, continuing litigation and most certainly, notice of charge for a $50 phone conversation that I don’t recall having. 

When I read, I come across the bravest of statements to take charge, take control and become accustomed to the good things happening when you’re able to drop the negativity at the door and welcome the breadth of change with open arms.  On certain days, this rainbow outlook is more difficult to maintain than others.  Today = certain day.  Why is that?  The circle evolution of everything; it’s everywhere.  It’s like the quote: “The more things change, the more they stay the same” we somehow become accustomed to change that’s really not. The flipside of this, of course is that we could choose to be the change.  Where in essence, we’re the ones making the change.  I question if this is always a safe thing to do; probably not.  I remember pushing pretty hard a number of years ago in order to make something happen – something that I thought I was in desperate need of having happen and when all was said and done  -- well, here  I am, longing to get out.

Deep breath.  (Did you know that there's an actual technique to proper breathing?  Yeah, who knew? )  Apparently, I've been screwing up the breathing pattern and thereby, losing vital amounts of oxygen in the process.  Guess that explains why some days go bye in a zinger and others are mellow atonement's of the exercise of inhale/exhale.   Either way, there's purpose in them there walls and here I've been with my pick-ax, fumigating mask and galoshes, hoping that it'll all collapse before I do.  Take another step toward the purpose of creating the life I see and have faith.   That's where the context of it all lies.  


Okay -- for the sake of life as I know it,  I'll work on my breathing patterns and this exhausting exercise in futility.  I'll be certain to say my prayers at the dinner table and before bed....and when I brush my teeth in the morning and at work....oh, and during my breaks, and when I'm weeding the garden and when I'm in the bathroom....


You get the point. 

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To contemplate to a form of reality generates not only justification, but also a plan of engagement.

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