After the Facts

Fact 1: My son is continuously abused by his father

Fact 2: The courts, to this point have been unable to properly attend to the needs of this situation or assign accountability in order to keep my son safe.

Fact 3: My son is honest; yet frustrated, hurt; but maintaining, strong; and growing all the wiser by the day.

Fact 4: The litany of charges against said father (see also “Pop”, “Abuser”), psychological turmoil and abuse at the hands of said father, and undeniable harm is a real and present danger for my son Every. Week.

Fact 5: “The Hitch” (see below) happened only a week ago. This means that juggling the emotions, the hurt, the upset and anger is something that will take time to contend with.

Fact 6: Abusers are enabled by those closest to them (e.g. family, friends) who fail to, or cannot see the truth

Fact 7: My responsibility and role as mother means that I must, at all times, protect the physical, social, emotional, and psychological well-being of my child to the absolute best of my ability.

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Given the facts – the unfettered allowance for the transgressor to continue violating the rights of others means a little boy is berated, conditioned and abused continuously. Please refer to those facts as I explain the following:

Abuser fights for every-other weekend visitation because he play-acts as if he cares about the time spent with his son. Abuser is granted weekend visitation, plus Monday and Tuesday evenings for a few hours. Law-guardian (a.k.a. : Abuser’s second attorney of record) supports this arrangement as it was she who rallied for Pop / Abuser to have more time in support of her “that Mom is alienating” claim - unsupported as it was. I could carry on volumes about the law-guardian’s moral reprehension, but I’ll leave that for another day. This is about the abuser emboldened by a failed system. So, my son returns from a weekend visitation having spent little to no time with the person having claimed he needed more time, and Monday’s “long talk with Pop that I didn’t like” bore statements akin to brainwashing. As proof, I present (and paraphrase):

“Because you’re honest and tell your Mom what’s happening here, you are making (my second wife leave)…she’s leaving me and it’s yours and your mother’s fault.” “…I cannot continue being a father to someone who makes up stories just to hurt me, or get me in trouble” “Your Mom records everything that you say so she can get me into trouble because she just wants to take you away…You are misunderstanding what I did to you…you hit me as much as I hit you, right? I wasn’t drinking when I did that to you…when I and my (twenty-something) cousin mocked you and punched you, I didn’t kick you or laugh at you…we didn’t do more of the same actions when you asked us five times to ‘please stop’…you imagined it and you helped do it too…you hurt me too, didn’t you?...are you sorry now?...do you see why you can’t tell your Mother what happens here?...if you keep telling her and other people, than I can’t be your father, you understand?”.

This amounts to a sobbing and depreciated little boy questioning, at the end of the night, what he did so wrong that the man who fathered him, not only blames him but “doesn’t love me, Mom”.

After-the-facts torture and abusers will always abuse.

Fact 7: My responsibility and role as mother means that I must, at all times, protect the physical, social, emotional, and psychological well-being of my child to the absolute best of my ability.