By Purpose & Passion: Connecting the Dots

If all great changes are preceded by chaos, this is going to be epic.

My well-roundedness can sometimes be lost in translation. This is the thought pattern that occurs as I perch; the glorified receptionist whose brain and exuberance are metastasizing. With each phone call that comes through, I answer with less enthusiasm than the one before it; counting the tick-tick-tock of state issued equipment. I write, I think, I paint, sketch, pray, plan and scheme while working – yet, I am not complete until I go home. “Don’t gripe or complain” the voice o’er my left side calls – “you’re working while a majority of the population is unemployed”.


“But don’t forget,” comes the right, “that every day you’re not doing what you should be, you are losing time that you will never get back”. The arguing and logic lines continue like this for some time until one or the other gives in to economic reasoning. The economics of it dictate that I continue working to continue working. My illusions of grandeur shrivel to a pile of well-formed, yet slow-to-implement remnants of what I should be doing. And at some point of my reckoning I succumb to perspective – keeping oddly positive about those situations clearly out of my control. Like the dried remnants…with a shift of perspective they garner new light as dehydrated intentions. So, in essence, they are simply in storage until the timing correlates with the water supply in order to bring those intentions back to life.

Meanwhile, I am eluding the happenstances that squeeze the energy and vitality from my limbs. It is not that I have no plans – only that I have far too many for a day. A new moon occurred just the other day as I was busy stoking the stove. It is as if each time I turn around, someone has grown or moved, or is in the process of transitioning to something, someone or to somewhere else.

I am standing still.

It passes too quickly and not fast enough.