You know that feeling that you get when you open your eyes just before the alarm goes off, it’s silent and solemn, the lighting is perfect and your mind is at ease?
I don’t have that.
Granted, I wake up before the alarm goes off. I even open my eyes to the greatest sight of the sun just coming up over the mountains and shining through my bedroom window enough to wake up the little critters that are scampering around. What I don’t have in that scenario is the mental stagnation that I wish I could conjure up. Immediately, when my crusted peepers open, I have the reality shock-therapy treatment where my whole body reacts with, “Oh crap!” and the gears start turning. I’m remembering, reliving, reiterating and regurgitating at an alarming rate, and quite frankly…it’s tiresome. I try to shut it off, make it stop – alter the course, and even start a new hobby to get my mind off the monotony, but it’s still there.
I believe that much of what is, remains toxic at the core. It’s like trying to find the one rotting potato in a bushel of potatoes. There’s only one that’s bad, but the smell is infusing the rest of them, and they all look guilty of rot. What do you do? Go through one by one and smell out the bad guy – what an analogy! Thus, the cycle of my time right now – it’s really a RE-cycle. See? I’m “going green” and I didn’t even know it. I don’t mind so much on the good days – the days when I can wrap my head around it all; the effort that most others in this county are unwilling, or maybe incapable of doing. They don’t want to wrap their heads around it. Why? Inability? Or just ignorance?
One in the same, I suppose.
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